Here I was, standing at my hostel's gates, with 11 of my classmates ready to hit Mumbai to spend the new year with the crowd. This is how it all began.
Was alone and watching a movie. News about the tsunami kept pouring in. Hemi comes in and asks "Whatch you doing for new year?". Well! load my camera, have a nice dinner and hit marine drive by 11:00pm. Walk for sometime, watch the fireworks, have some icecream and come back home. Vikas, who was around, asked me if they could tag along since they were not sure of what they were going to do. I wiggled my big toe a bit and then said, "OK". It was 9:00am.
The scene as it unwraps in the next 11 hours - Nikhil was Hemi's friend, so it was obvious that he would be coming along too. GB, Vikas's neighbour, was all alone. So he wanted to come too. Who's stopping him? Murali asks me at 6:00pm, "Where are you going?". To marine drive. "Well, aren't we supposed to go together? Hemi told me." I said, "Well then, get ready and move." I roam around the campus and come back to the hostel gates by 8:00pm. I find Mandar, Paddy, Ankit, Arpit, Adithya and Jagandeep standing there, sharing a few jokes and enjoying themselves.
As I pass by, they ask if everybody's ready. I said "What?". "Well, we heard that you guys are going to marine drive and so we are here to come along with you guys. Is that a problem?". No! Not at all.
So there we are. The new year turned out to be a fairy tale picnic, just like the picnic in which there were 12 lady bugs singing, dancing and making merry. And to think of it, 12 hours ago, people were finding it difficult to make up their mind as to what they wanted to do for new year. They were afraid that they might end up doing something that was not fun at all. Nobody wants to start their new year with a flopshow. Glad that I was able to help them through.
Last year was long and tiresome. Hope this year brings in the goodies. I mean lots and lots of goodies. I have got big plans baby. Happy new year folks! 2005, here I come.
News keeps pouring in and I'm being overwhelmed by the enormous pain I feel for those who have lost their near and dears. Its in moments like these that I feel helpless.
Yes that's how you feel when you sit on the lunch table and everybody is talking about their normal plans and all of a sudden you get the feeling that they are avoiding something. Something, that's there on their mind but they don't want to discuss it. Gestures are acknowledged, messages are passed telepathically and they just sit there ensuring that nothing is said or done to upset anybody. How much more can we take?
The moment I heard about it, the only thing I said was "not again". Remember, last christmas, the earthquake in Iran? There is just too much suffering around and people are not willing to stop and weep. Maybe, that's why the world is still moving. Somebody's still got to throw the garbage. Somebody's still got to dig the graves. Maybe this is the kind of detachment the Zen monks were searching for. The ability to see and feel pain, but not react to it.
I have lost two people I know in this year's calamity. Friends at Chennai, say its not good. I try to hide my grief, by walking straight and pretending nothing happened. I have been taught to do so. But not before I have done my part from where I am.
Christmas has come and gone. Spent it wishing my friends over the internet and watched "The Polar Express". Now that's my kind of movie. More on it later. For now, I'm preparing myself for the grand new year. Year 2005. My new year celebrations are always jinxed.
Last year I spent it in Brussels at the Grand Palace. Reached the place really late, so had to watch the fireworks from the sidelines. Jumping over unassuming bystanders to get a glimpse of the lights. Ducking the crackers being hurled at us. And we came running home because of the mob. The worst part was reaching the supermarket late. Couldn't get that bottle of french wine we were saving up for. Had to contend with diluted whiskey and biscuits. And since we had no good movies on TV, we slept off by 2:00 am.
Lets see what roller coaster ride I'm gonna go through this time.
Have you ever found yourself waving your hand at a stranger on the other side of a windshield and the stranger actually makes funny faces at you. He is doing it to his reflection on the windshield. He can't even see you. But then you are perturbed, feeling "Why did he do that?". Then, if you were smart enough, you would realise the parody of the circumstances and walk away, shaking your head with a smirk on your face.
But what if you weren't smart enough like me. What if you thought there was something wrong with you?
Rewind, 15 years back. I used to be the kid who knew answers. I'm sitting in the examination hall. I hear this Amit (real name not disclosed because I forgot the name but, he was wearing a blue tie just like mine) at the back asking me questions.
Who is Gandhi's Father? Who built the Taj Mahal? When did we get Independence?
Back to the present. I'm still the guy who knows answers. I'm sitting in the examination hall. I hear Mark (real name not disclosed because I borrow his novels) at the back asking me questions.
Is the freight charges to be included in the customs duty calculations when you are importing raw materials coming under the "declared" goods list which eventually goes into a product I'm finally going to export?
Can inductive intuition be used as a tool to perform segmentation by a company manufacturing industrial products with no clear demarcation of product lines which caters to niche consumers?
Is Susee still going around with Rover, because today morning I saw Sunny having a tiff with Rover and Susee was supporting Sunny, which is kind of weird?
yeah! I made the last one up and Susee, Rover and Sunny are dogs we know outside our hostel. The point is "The times are a changin". As we grow up, our horizons expand, our problems become complex and we feel satisfied only if we find a sophisticated solution. Can't the answers be simple? Just, plain simple?
Ernst Hemmingway once wrote "The world is a fine place and worth fighting for". I agree with the second part.
Couldn't have ended better. Watching "Seven" will make you feel uncomfortable from the opening scene till 5 seconds after you have watched the credits roll by at the end of the movie and you would still be left with a thirst at the bottom of your throat. Good script that takes its ideas from Dante Alighieri's "Divine Comedy", excellent camera work showing the scene's in dim light and cocky angle's without hindering comprehensibility and most importantly, top performances by Brad Pitt, Morgan Freeman and Gwyneth Paltrow makes this one, a good one. And yes, like the director, I would like to keep the identity of the killer a secret till the end.
Except for the ending which came too fast and became predictable to a certain extent, "Seven", a homicidal thriller, is better than some of the horror movies I have watched and I would rate it a 3 on 5.
I hate it. Its painful. Its annoying. Remember the days, when you used to sit in the front seat, wondering why your dad's stuck in the 2nd gear for the past 30 minutes. Well, that seems to be the same feeling I am going through at this moment. There is this side lane thats absolutely empty and you know dad can't take it coz its against the rules. Damn the rules. Damn everything.
Got my exams this week and time seems to be stuck. Life seems to be stuck. I have so many plans for my winter holidays and it seems to be years away before I get to see it realize. God, I hate being stuck in 2nd gear.
Following my previous article about the shiny unplucked apples on top of the tree, this article goes to show proof using statistics and bolstered by the theory of darwin. In India for every 1000 males there are 933 females, which makes it kind of difficult for the remaining 67 odd men to find their mates.
What may seem to be a state arrived at through nature's imbalances than human choice, has more to it. They call it the "differentiate and die theory". But I call it the "too much escape velocity theory" We all like to see better qualities in our mates. Hence we try to move up the space in order to improve our chances of landing ourselves that coveted spot in the opposite sex's heart and mind. Now as we move up, we are spotted and the rest is upto your imagination.
But sometimes, in our eagerness to gain the much needed perfectness, we overdo it and zoom so fast, that we end up the Unplucked apple in space. The shiny speck, only to be gazed at from a distance. Not to be touched, not to be loved.
Gotta go find out the statistics for other countries. For now, I'm nearing the crab nebulae. Too much escape velocity.
This is a philosophy, I have been able to relate to very well. After having been ignored, teased, used, ditched, dumped, slapped and crushed but never loved, by some of the fairer sex, I was thinking if there was something really wrong with me. Was I so difficult? Well ! Somebody thinks otherwise. Read on.
Boys are like beautiful apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. The lazy girls don't want to reach for the good ones because they're afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead they just get the rotten apples that are on the ground, that aren't as good, but easy to catch hold of. So the apples at the top think that there is something wrong with them, they might think themselves to be worthless & of no use. They may even decide to fall & become one of the rotten apples, when in reality, they are amazing.
They have to be a little patient and wait for the right girl, the one who takes a chance to find the good, right apple. And that will happen someday or the other. You just have to wait.
Yes I did it. I achieved something. My name finds a place in the acknowledgements of a great book "Global Management Solutions" by Dr. Seth & Dr. Rastogi.
My contribution? Days of gruelling proof reading of the whole book. Not much, but again, it feels great to be part of the process. I got to learn more than 28 management solutions that finds a place in the quiver of global consultants. And now I know which one to use on what problem. Sessions with my prof. where he explained the concepts before the proof reading process were enlightening.
I stand a learned man, a step ahead of my own rickety shadows and a cloud higher than the winds of ignorance.
Interesting it is, while you learn about the great musicians of the 60's. Jimi Hendrix dies and two weeks later Janis ODs herself to the other side. A year later, Jim's Indian spirit leaves him and never comes back.
What's interesting is that Jim mentions Janis in one of his poems. Or am I just dreaming.
Listen to this, and I'll tell you 'bout the heartache I'll tell you 'bout the heartache and the loss of God I'll tell you 'bout the hopeless night The meager food for souls forgot I'll tell you 'bout the maiden with raw iron soul
Now, listen to this, and I'll tell you 'bout the Texas I'll tell you 'bout the Texas Radio I'll tell you 'bout the hopeless night Wandering the Western dream Tell you 'bout the maiden with raw iron soul
"The maiden with raw iron soul". I must be crazy to think that he is actually referring to Janis in those lines. But wasn't she the maiden with the raw iron soul.
I was sitting there. The members of the disciplinary committee were staring strong at me. Now why was I there? Just because I stood up for somebody weak. Somebody who was being troubled by a meanie. I was being questioned for having stood up against something wrong. I was asked "Who gave you the authority?"
Funny! I was told when I was a kid that you needn't ask someone when you want to do something good. you just have to go ahead and do it. As I sit here pondering over my actions, I also think about my past and how life and friends have influenced me. I did nothing great. I just did my what was right and If I'm being pulled to task because of it, swell. Its ok with me.
"I was standing at the crossroads. I knew the right ones. But I didn't take them. Because they were all hard. damn too hard to walk on." - Al Pacino in " Scent of A Woman". I think I will still do the right thing, no matter how difficult its going to be. I'm happy and so is my soul.
Its that thing that goes right up your body and hits your brain like a tequilla shot. Or better, the thing thats like an extra surge of voltage that causes a bulb to fuse. My friend seems to have foung the ultimate weapon to scare the shit out of me. The finger. And boy, she does use it with skill ! Sneeks up on me and pokes it at the most vulnerable of points and you find that you have lost control of the situation.
It was so that yesterday, I spent sometime with her and at the end of the day, I was happy that she forgot to do "The Zing Thing". Never ever did I feel so relieved. Its like you are on the battlefield, playing dead and this enemy of yours just passes by you, totally ignoring you. What a relief !
